Friday, February 12, 2010

Tomorrow Never Dies

Since I have been a proponent in the ancient art of delaying things, I thought I might very well design a course for it after having seen and slept through various courses in college. This is a rough draft of how a course plan on this art form would look like:

For all those who worship laziness this is my tribute

Procrastination 101

Course Code : Dilly Dally 101- D101D 
[ in the land of palindrome-speak, loosely translated - language called malayalam, the author wishes to acknowledge his obsession with palindromes with an innovative course code]

Prerequisites : Laziness (the  inherent sixth sense in most people, at least in my college)

Guidelines:

Later is a period of infinite span in the Procrastination dictionary it may range anywhere between few hours later to, um...well until death.

Soon in the Procrastination dictionary refers to a period somewhere in the near future just before the deadline.

Usage:
  • Details regarding the course plan shall be put up soon
  • Students attending this course should fill out the registration form and register sometime later.

Course Outline

Module 1:  Procrastination through history, Procrastination through ages, the essential procrastination vocabulary- Later, Eventually, I'm busy right now, Let's see , There is nothing wrong with the way it is now..,New additions -aal izz well, the act of forgetting due dates, submissions

Module 2: Procrastination in modern age : Internet- a procrastinator's paradise, the tools for procrastination-  Social Networking- facebook - the art of spamming other's walls, orkut, the most gripping form of procrastination yet-twittcrastination - procrastination enabled by twitter, Other addictive tools - PSP, blogging, free messaging services (subject to service availability, applies to college students only), Playstation, DOTA

Update: The newest avatar of Procrastination yet: Google Buzz, Ladies and Gentlemen, take a bow


Module 3: Common phrases used in the eleventh hour, Damn it! - the essential addition to the procrastination vocabulary, list of things/tools/objects that you could throw around yelling damn it! , Probability of the fact that the object thrown = object needed, frustration, the act of yelling at everything to melt down your frustration

Module 4: Fake words used to prevent procrastination - just do it (courtesy of nike, probably), Widespread applications - the ease of break ups due to procrastination, improving skills at plagiarising assignments, homeworks, stress time skills - the art of creating presentations on the night before the deadline

List of Textbooks and References to be published soon.

Famous Quotations:

I took Procrastination 101 in college and the teacher would walk in everyday and say, "Yeah! We'll do something tomorrow"

-Russell Peters in Show me the funny

[No copyright infringement intended here]



P.S : I had a plan to post the above blogpost a lot earlier, sorry for the inevitable delay due to twittcrastination

P.P.S: I know this tests your patience, but stating the mandatory disclaimer- No offence is intended to any individual(s) or organisation  by the means of this post

P.P.S : Recently I've been diagnosed with HCD (the Human Commento -Deficiency) Virus, (a variant of desperate attention seeker virus, in non medical terms) To cure me of this illness please leave a comment, I shall be eternally grateful.

48 comments:

  1. Wow....you spoke for just about every student :)
    I'm sure everyone would love to take up this course...what are the pre-requisites? A written proof of your laziness from your parents???

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  2. Thanks for the comment at least somebody took my HCD condition seriously, well getting a written proof from parents on laziness isn't an issue,isn't it? since almost every parent would have taunted their kid on being lazy at some point of time.:)

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  3. Arey..again u wrote a post on topic of which i was thinking about for long...Procrastination hurts sometimes ;)

    Good one yaar with great comic timing..and more importantly the length of the post seemed to be jjust right...1 more thing to say that add emoticons freely..They give the blog a friendly look...

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  4. @ Nish Nice to know that we have so much in common. I'm emoticon challenged of late;), though I will try my hand at it in some of the following posts

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  5. Amen...I am currently pursuing a Masters majoring in Procrastination Sciences, currently researching the behavioural changes brought about by compulsive lethargy.

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  6. Well send me a copy of your thesis report, I shall be glad to proof-read them.

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  7. Some new subjects that a group of us here came up with include SX-101 and Kouwagiri-101. While the latter is a revolutionary IITR concept in itself, the former should be self-explanatory. Procrastination-101 is definitely the most lucrative and essential addition to the list.
    Very enjoyable post man, and not too long, very good!

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  8. @mk I have been desperately working on the long post problem of late, glad to know that you enjoyed it. Btw what on earth is Kouwagiri 101

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  9. Hahaha! :) Good one!

    Can I put a link to your blog from my Fan page on Procrastination in Facebook?

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  10. Hi, as a PRO-procrastinator myself, I have read the first half of your blog entry and found it quite funny. I am planning to complete the other half sometime tomorrow :p

    on a serious note, the way you place your articles is very nice, the paragraphs end just at the right time and then we have a new heading... maintains the reader's interest :)

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  11. Guess who has a fan following now...the twists of fate.And you did not consult the pro when deciding your course guidelines. Here is Damus doha for all procrastinators:

    "Aaj kare so kal kar, kal kare so parso,
    Ithni bhi kya jaldi hai, abhi toh jeena hai barso."
    Amen

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  12. @DAMU
    Man, I've been waiting for you to comment on this for 2 days now, Well DAMU's doha should be our course objective, well we could start this course at our college you know...

    @g2
    Try to complete reading and do comment on how you feel...

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  13. LOL
    Fantastic post man! Loved it :)
    Hoping to see more :)

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  14. @Ramchandra
    Thanks..

    @laafatlife
    Loved your blog...

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  15. nice post man, you've done your research....lol!!

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  16. Great humour!

    In the college life, we need not have a creative mind to narrate a humour. All we have to do is to tell the truth.. Everybody will start laughing..It is a fact in my life.

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  17. Absolutely enjoyed reading through it! I've been meaning to blog about it too..but you know..I was planning to do it "later" 3 years ago :D
    I've mastered it nevertheless..

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  18. @Raghu
    Thanks, yes there is a funny side to everything if you look at it, perception is everything isn't it.

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  19. @ Sukanya
    Well I've been procrastinating to post this post as well, infact this post was initially titled Later as the url at the top reveals...

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  20. haha...good take on the illness that affects us all :) 'Let's do it tomorrow' seems to be an overused phrase in my dictionary too :)

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  21. @ Lazy Pineapple
    I have a masters in using that phrase, which is why I was assigned the job of course coordinator of procrastination 101

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  22. I would sign up for this course in the blink of an eye. In fact, I might just go for honours and masters in this. Great post, and great blog. I'm a follower

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  23. excellent work-straight frm heart!

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  24. Excellent blog! I think everyone here in the blogosphere knows your pain.

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  25. @Andre
    I already have a masters on this :)

    @Rashmi
    Thanks for stopping by

    @Rob
    Procrastination is not a pain is it??

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  26. OMG you are really REALLLY funny! I just found your through 2OSB and am now following. I always click to get follow up comments sent to my email, but they never do---so hopefully I will remember to come back to you blog since I see you comment back on yours!

    -Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog

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  27. @Juliana
    Thanks for visiting my place and for the compliment, hope you do get the followup comments by email...

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  28. Really really funny...you really can write

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  29. I am so glad you've been getting rave reviews! :D Awesome!

    @Damu: Can I use ur doha in my FB fan page on Procrastination?? Err.. Yeah?

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  30. Well thanks for the support. Really honored to have followers like you.

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  31. I know you don't know me... that's because I've been lurking. But I am here to say you've been tagged.

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  32. Hey I saw your comment on my blog and I did not procrastinate in coming over to visit you! This day has sure started off on a high note. I should probably end the day here and head back to bed, it's all downhill now!

    Great post!
    Alison
    livingalifeofbliss.blogspot.com

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  33. @Restless Quill Thanks for tagging me, might I ask you how you found me?

    @ Alison
    Thanks for visiting my blog.

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  34. About three months ago, I googled something about social networking (don't remember the key words now) and you showed up on page 2 or something. That's how I found you, selfishly took away what I needed and didn't leave a comment. I kept coming back but I don't think you updated. And now I found you on Judy's blog and decided to tag you because I found you all those months ago.

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  35. @The Restless Quill
    Never knew that my blog had been featured in page2 of google;) anyway thanks for the tag.

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  36. I LOVE this post! Greatness.

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  37. My favorite eleventh hour saying is "I have got to stop doing this to myself"... then the next paper rolls around, and you look back over your life and cry "damnit"

    Great post!

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  38. @taekia
    I do that too until the last minute arrives...

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  39. Can this be an actually college course? :)

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  40. Quite humorous post, Although, i have been a true procrastinator of my times and notched up significant place due to this during my college days, i still want to enroll in your course. Please send me the prospectus tomorrow (not today)to further this adroit skill..(yawn;O)...

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  41. I shall see to it that the prospectus is sent later by tomorrow...I shall send a letter to the ministry of laziness to make procrastination a credited course...

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  42. Whoa, you have quite a fan following on this blog and after having read the post, I can just say I think I know why ;) Very well written

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  43. Well, The Analyst I'm pleased to inform you that some time soon when I finally get around to forming the Procrastinators' Anonymous, you shall be named the Formulator/Codifier of the Rules of the Society. Since you already have experience in this kind of drafts, I'm hoping that the Procrastinator's manual can actually be completed before we set up the society...We can take turns being the President and the Treasurer..I personally like the Treasurer's job better..:)

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  44. @Journomuse
    Thanks for making me the official formulator of rules, I shall be glad to prepare the procrastinators manual...

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  45. "P.P.S : Recently I've been diagnosed with HCD (the Human Commento -Deficiency) Virus, (a variant of desperate attention seeker virus, in non medical terms) To cure me of this illness please leave a comment, I shall be eternally grateful"

    So funny. :)

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