Friday, February 12, 2010

Tomorrow Never Dies

Since I have been a proponent in the ancient art of delaying things, I thought I might very well design a course for it after having seen and slept through various courses in college. This is a rough draft of how a course plan on this art form would look like:

For all those who worship laziness this is my tribute

Procrastination 101

Course Code : Dilly Dally 101- D101D 
[ in the land of palindrome-speak, loosely translated - language called malayalam, the author wishes to acknowledge his obsession with palindromes with an innovative course code]

Prerequisites : Laziness (the  inherent sixth sense in most people, at least in my college)

Guidelines:

Later is a period of infinite span in the Procrastination dictionary it may range anywhere between few hours later to, um...well until death.

Soon in the Procrastination dictionary refers to a period somewhere in the near future just before the deadline.

Usage:
  • Details regarding the course plan shall be put up soon
  • Students attending this course should fill out the registration form and register sometime later.

Course Outline

Module 1:  Procrastination through history, Procrastination through ages, the essential procrastination vocabulary- Later, Eventually, I'm busy right now, Let's see , There is nothing wrong with the way it is now..,New additions -aal izz well, the act of forgetting due dates, submissions

Module 2: Procrastination in modern age : Internet- a procrastinator's paradise, the tools for procrastination-  Social Networking- facebook - the art of spamming other's walls, orkut, the most gripping form of procrastination yet-twittcrastination - procrastination enabled by twitter, Other addictive tools - PSP, blogging, free messaging services (subject to service availability, applies to college students only), Playstation, DOTA

Update: The newest avatar of Procrastination yet: Google Buzz, Ladies and Gentlemen, take a bow


Module 3: Common phrases used in the eleventh hour, Damn it! - the essential addition to the procrastination vocabulary, list of things/tools/objects that you could throw around yelling damn it! , Probability of the fact that the object thrown = object needed, frustration, the act of yelling at everything to melt down your frustration

Module 4: Fake words used to prevent procrastination - just do it (courtesy of nike, probably), Widespread applications - the ease of break ups due to procrastination, improving skills at plagiarising assignments, homeworks, stress time skills - the art of creating presentations on the night before the deadline

List of Textbooks and References to be published soon.

Famous Quotations:

I took Procrastination 101 in college and the teacher would walk in everyday and say, "Yeah! We'll do something tomorrow"

-Russell Peters in Show me the funny

[No copyright infringement intended here]



P.S : I had a plan to post the above blogpost a lot earlier, sorry for the inevitable delay due to twittcrastination

P.P.S: I know this tests your patience, but stating the mandatory disclaimer- No offence is intended to any individual(s) or organisation  by the means of this post

P.P.S : Recently I've been diagnosed with HCD (the Human Commento -Deficiency) Virus, (a variant of desperate attention seeker virus, in non medical terms) To cure me of this illness please leave a comment, I shall be eternally grateful.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The National Pride

(Image courtesy of www.saveourtigers.com   )
I came across this piece on the Internet and this news shocked me.It brought back memories of a certain Crocodile Park in Chennai, which housed a box containing the most feared creature in the world, if you do open the box you would be shocked to find your face there, a reflection, of things that have threatened almost any species of creatures in the wild.  We have only 1411 tigers left, a beast which is our national animal and so majestic to look at and we have ourselves to blame. Poaching and habitat destruction has taken its toll and if we don't do anything now, we are in danger of losing the majestic tiger forever.

Primary cause of loss of tiger's population is habitat destruction. However the most saddening cause of tiger's dwindling population is  due to poaching, the so called medicinal demand for tigers parts for traditional Chinese medicine and the well networked black market of poachers. The so called traditional  medicine isn't still approved by research.

Use of tiger skin is the worst kind of abuse you can do to this majestic animal. What kind of fashion statement does wearing a dead animal skin make? The so called animal skin coats are just a "glamour" addition rather than a utility. A glamour with an ugly truth attached to it. It is this poaching that we must stop immediately and this can only happen if the demand reduces. 

Presently there are plans to set up more tiger reserves, and this latest census is the last wake up call, a last glimmer of hope to save this animal which is an Indian pride. There is an urgent need to stop the blame game and take a real course of action. Most people would defer using animal products if the right awareness is created. The image of stripey the club is still one of the most shocking images that can make you hit reality about the numbers. We don't want the national animal to end up in the same state as Dodo. There is still a glimmer of hope left. So do your bit, popularise in any way you can that our national animal is on the verge of bidding its final adieu to the world an only we can do something to stop it. Fight for the cause, become the change.

P.S Please join the campaign www.saveourtigers.com